The Silent Language of Italian Men...

When visiting Italy, it is astounding how much more depth you experience, 
even by using a few phrases in Italian.
Spring 2012, I showed my small tour group how to greet,
 thank and order food or coffee in Italian.
We were delighted to see that the Italian people were surprised and pleased! 
 Honestly, they seemed grateful :)
It was as if we went from annoying tourist to a rare delight!  :)

...This picture was taken for education purposes only...ahem...

Ok.  I just have to talk about Italian men...

Living here in Italy, working and  going to language school has added greatly to my 6 years of studying Italian at home...
But beyond that, I have learned yet another language here...

...the silent language of Italian men.

If an Italian man finds you attractive, he will give you an intense stare. 
 It's not that creepy sort of slack-jaw look some men do... No. 
 It's powerfully intense and confident.  In fact these stares are a bit disarming. 
 It does not include a smile, it not 'dreamy' or absent...
 it is searing eyes making a knowing assessment of you.

If you return the stare for several seconds, you have answered "yes" to their silent question: 
"Are you interested?" 

For confirmation, the next silent question is made by
them moving into your personal space. 
 It often starts with a touch of their hand to your arm or shoulder while they are gesturing.  
...they are always gesturing with their hands...  
If that is well received then they will stand in your personal space. 
 If you don't back up, you've got a date...if you want one.

I'm just saying...

When I first arrived in Italy, I had not yet learned this silent language...
So when an Italian friend-of-a-friend met us for lunch, he gave me 'the stare'...he was a rude, bossy man so I stared back as if to say
"You don't intimidate me..."
But In HIS language my stare meant I was interested.

His next silent question: 
There was a group of us and after lunch we all got into cars to return back to the horse farm.  I sat in the back seat and then he came and sat next to me, I didn't say anything to him or look at him, but it wasn't long before his put his arm behind me, on the seat back.  I didn't realize it at the time, but this was the second part of the question...
 by not shifting away from him, 
(in his 'language') I was saying I was interested...(in my language, once again, I was trying to communicate to him that he couldn't intimidate me by crowding me...) 

Well later, he found me alone and things got very awkward, because as far as he was concerned,
we had had a silent conversation and he believed I was saying I was interested.  Convincing him otherwise was difficult, awkward and uncomfortable for me.
 He pulled me towards him trying to kiss me, 
I pulled away saying in Italian: This isn't right! 
(he had a long-time live-in girlfriend)
His smooth, murmuring answer:
Solo una vita...(only one life)...
He finally, finally accepted my "no" and that was the end of it.   
Here I had studied the Italian language for years,
but was ignorant of this silent language of Italian men.

For me there were several confirmations that this is how it works in Italy.  Let me give you one more example...

Weeks later in Sicily, I was sitting alone at an outdoor
restaurant.  A couple came up and sat nearby. Soon, the woman left the table to go inside and the Italian man kept trying to engage me in conversation, inviting me to join his table.  I refused, not wanting to disrespect the woman.  
Well, later the woman also invited me to their table.  
I remained at my own table but after eating and on my way out I did stop to chat with them both for a few minutes. 
 Turns out she was Russian and he had found her while she was looking at a fountain outside the train station that morning. They then proceeded to spend the entire day together. Intermittently he kept asking where I was staying and for how long. 
 I feigned forgetfulness and soon felt I best leave.
The next morning I was walking the main shopping street and he suddenly appeared on his bike. He offered to be my tour guide.  Gesturing, he touched my arm and then stepped into my personal space...now that I knew "the silent language of Italian men", and that this was his way of asking if I was interested, I took a step away. 
That was it. He politely pointed out the direction of a tourist sight, and left.

I love Italy and her people and language, but I was told by many, many people here that marital status has little effect on the aforementioned behavior among Italian men.

....so ladies, Italian men are often extremely good looking, and it is natural to want to enjoy the view... I just want you to be aware of what you are 'saying' when you do.

This is the inner courtyard of the Bargello Gallery in Firenze (Florence)...

Ok... I know I've been making all this fuss about UN-famous places...

But I find myself in Florence for a week of language school and I love it!

When I was here last May, I had not yet made friends with her...

My friend Carolina says: 

"You must decide to become friends with Firenze! She is beautiful and kind, but admittedly has some guard up at first :) Che bella!"

I feel a little silly admitting this, but I actually walked around Florence saying under my breath:
Come on Firenze...let's be friends...and guess what?.. it worked!

Let's see now...did the city change?  ...Or may attitude?  ...hmmm

The Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore (English: Basilica of Saint Mary of the Flower) is the main church of Florence.  Commonly called "The Duomo"

Michelangelo's David...que bello!

A Garden in the City of Firenze near the University...

The Ponte Vecchio

By the way, can someone tell me why Americans change the name of Italian cities?

Florence is actually Firenze

Venice is actually Venezia

Rome is actually Roma...

Naples is Napoli

Naturally, the Italian version is more beautiful.

Italians don't change the names of our famous cities. New York is New York.  Miami is Miami (even though, by the way, "mi ami" in Italian means "you love me"  :)

This is taken from the Ponte Vecchio looking back towards the Uffizi Gallery.

The outside of the famous Duomo...a colorful array of marble...

Standing inside of the Duomo looking up at the Dome...

This narrow passageway actually winds up between the inside wall and the outside wall of the Dome itself...

After about a 45 minute climb, you will be rewarded with this stunning view of Florence!

By the way, If you decide to have a picture taken so that you can put it on your blog, 

maybe you should put on a little makeup...

like I didn't...

Vain, I know.  I've always been the worst...

 I put myself in a sort of "pretty prison" by caring so much...

for example,

 I used to hardly ever wear my glasses because I didn't think I looked good in them.  

But I ask you, (and I ask me...)...which is more important?

How one sees the world, or how one is seen by the world?

hmmmmm?

I am happy to say, I finally realize it's best if I simply be me... 

(...because I am after all the only person in the world who can be me...)

 So now wear my glasses a lot more, I enjoy a clear view of the world without squinting 

 and I don't attend pretty prison as much as I used to...

Another great view of lovely Firenze without me in the way...

I believe this was in the Basilica de Santa Croce...please forgive me if I'm wrong..
It's is so beautiful.  Stunning really.
It depicts the man who for told of Jesus coming to save us...
the man, John the Baptist, who said he was unfit to even tie Jesus's sandal...

Just a little secret about visiting famous places like Firenze, Roma or Venezia...

Early in the morning, the Italians and the tourists are sleeping in...

so you have the sights to yourself.

The evenings are magically lite and often have fewer tourist and more real Italians too.

As for during the day when these famous cities can be teaming with tourist...

try moving over just one street from the famous places and...

 that street may very well look like the one pictured above... 

Hello?  Where did everybody go?

oh yes... they are ALL over there by the famous thingy...

By the way, I have spent most of my time here in un-famous places and have rarely

see a tourist.  At all.  Isn't that weird?  

Suzanne and her angel, Marinella...

Ok... I started this post all rainbows and sparkles again...but in the interest of truth
I have to admit that when I first arrived in Florence, I was feeling lonely and alone...
Yes, I made friends in Pescara, but I had to leave them...

So after a night feeling lonely in Florence, I called my friend, Marinella,
 whom I had met at the beginning of my journey at Punta Ala Cavalli.
 I ask her to let me stay with her for one night..(very difficult for me to ask a huge favor like this)...
this ANGELIC woman picked me up and whisked me away to her lovely home 
up in the hills above Florence...
Maybe I should change the name of my blog to:

The Powerful Bond Created By Kindness.
or
Want to be Someone Really Important?  Be Kind to Someone!

I can't explain how much her help meant to me.  What more is she invited me to stay for 4 days!
...angels...angels...

This is a typical 'streta' that winds it's way up into the hills surrounding Florence..

Beautiful Firenze in the distance as we wind our way down the mountains from Marinella's house...

This stylish woman was in fashionable Florence...
she's so cute!
This gal didn't have the sparkly studs on her boots, but they too are very much in vogue here.
This kind of hair style is very popular here as well. 

By the way, I used to think that all Italians would be fashionable, but far from true.  There are a lot more girls casual and comfy like the one on the left,
than the one on the right. 
 I'm just saying...
:) Ciao from beautiful Florence!
Bacio Bacio!
(Kiss Kiss!)