Leslie, blogger, A Friend of the King in Italy

TRAVELING ALONE and MY CHOICE-OF-VIEW

3 years after my return...

When traveling the world with another person present, I tend to filter all that I see and feel through the other persons eyes.

When traveling alone, it is a much more personal, introspective and broad experience.

It is then not how my traveling partner is processing and interpreting the world but rather how I chose my own point-of-view; choice-of-view as I call it.  

Choice-of-view is what I believe creates the 'colors' of my world.  Traveling alone, I do not have to choose the neutral colors of common tastes, but rather my own person palette.  The palette of colors that speak to my heart and mind.   Thus I have created my world as I choose to see and experience it. 

I love beauty and positive connection and so that is what I choose to build into my world.  For me a generous, loving heart that supports and encourages each person to be themselves, is a place full of flavor and contrast; salty and sweet. Each person, in their contrasts to each other, add their particular, unique color to a fascinating kaleidoscope of tumbling beauty.

I cannot control what colors other people choose, but I can control my choice-of-view and to whom I will give keys to enter my emotional world.

In my marriage I felt I was in a rickety row boat that had been sinking for years.  Despite my efforts to patch the holes in our boat, I could not do it alone, and the rate of DEstruction overcame the rate of CONstruction and so the little boat sank.

Post divorce, I had the opportunity to explore my alone-self; the me that was free to see the world as I chose to see it.  Free to choose the colors of my palette. I freed myself from the past by choosing to forgive any and all persons (including myself).  I could then look forward to building a custom home for my heart and life.

Life began anew and the caterpillar-me decided to grow into the butterfly-me with a 90-day sojourn to Italy.  Why 90 days in Italy?  Ninety days because that is the limit of a visitors visa. Italy, because my well-traveled military father spoke of it with such love.  Additionally,  it may sound silly to you, but I was conceived there and feel that that is part of my connection to Italy as well.

The people I would meet, the feelings I would explore, the choice-of-view I would decide upon would create new colors in my life-palette.  My life would take a more solid form.  I would go from a pale watercolor to a bright oil painting of determined significance.

Door to the Teatro Olimpico

Vicenza, Italy

... And new doors continue to open as I look expectantly for new opportunities to learn and grow.....

The Intriguing Island of Sicily...

When I asked my Italian friends:
Where is your favorite place in Italy?

Many of them said: "Sicilia" pronounced: See-CHEE-lee-uh in a dreamy way that 

 convinced me that I must experience Sicily!

...To pronounce the above properly you must gesture with

palms facing up and an upward glance that indicates a heavenly place...

The Island of Sicilia is just off the 'toe' of boot-shaped Italy.
  While Tuscany is the most famous region, 
Sicily is the largest. 
And according to the Italians I spoke to, 
seems to be one of the favorites. 
They would also add:
 "you know Sicilia is closer Africa than it is to most of Italy..."
and..."Sicilia is a very intriguing mix of Italian, Greek and Arab influences." 

And so, I decided to add Sicilia to my list of places I needed to explore in the interest of bringing small groups of Americans here to visit.

Random pretty sight from the train on my way to Sicily

My best friend/daughter recently decided to join me here during the final 3 weeks of my 3 month sojourn here. 
So I took a 10 hour train from Tuscany to Sicily to meet her at the airport there... 

( I’m not quite sure how 2 people can be so delighted in the other’s existence as we are... 
It is a mysterious and wonderful blessing.) 

 So.. how to get from the mainland of Italy to the Island of Sicily when there is no bridge?
Wait.  There is no bridge?!
The Italians are resourceful so... by ferry of course!  What?!

They actually load the train onto the ferry!

the above picture shows leaving the tracks on the ground....

...onto the tracks on the ferry!

The train inside the ferry

An Italian friend told me: 
"You must leave the train once it is inside the ferry

and go topside for the view and a famous Sicilian food called an arancino!"

An arancino is a lovely combination of rice, tomato and mozzarella, which is breaded and then fried...

The name is derived from their typical color, which reminds you of an orange...the Italian word for orange is 'arancia'...

...it is shaped a bit like a snow cone...
...by the way my Sicilian friend Silvia said to eat it properly, 
you must eat it with the "cone" end facing downward...
just so you know. ;) 

the Italian word for this color is 'marino blu'...so beautiful...

this picture is taken from the deck of the ferry...

It made me giggle...
Here I am crossing the Strait of Messina on the ferry with my train in the decks below...it's so silly and wonderful...
and so funny that I had no idea  how this was done...
...which is, of course, one of the delightful things about traveling to another country...

Thankfully the train tracks to Catania follow along the seashore for beautiful views...
As the mountains loomed on the other side...

These are some 'ragazzi' (young people)...
 That I saw from the train window...
I think that it's great than even cool teenagers like this participate in the lovely Italian 
tradition of greeting each other with a kiss on both cheeks...
yes, really...

This church is in the old town center of Catania.

Most parts of town look more like this mix of modern and older buildings.  

The above picture is the view from my balcony...

In this part of my journey my attitude shifted a bit from 

 "I enjoy traveling alone and the openess it creates in me..."

to:

"I simply cannot wait to spend time with my daughter!"

And so as my attitude shifted, so did my perception of everything.

Previously, I had made the resolute decision to purposely, actively, live every moment and 

to notice and be involved in all the beauty and intrigue around me...

But when I let that slip, it was as if suddenly some of the color drained from what appeared so vibrant before... 

  Although...these hot dogs and french fries wrapped up in a pastry were able to catch my curiosity..

Look at this entry...

How would you like to ride your motor scooter in the house?

I often choose restaurants based on 

a recommendation from a local.

The Italians care about their reputation and will make sure and take good care of you, 

especially when you arrive on a recommendation.

Almost all restaurants in Italy are Italian restaurants..

I don't mean Italian because they are owned by Italians, I mean Italian cuisine.

I wonder if it's because they feel it is the best food in the world,or if it's because generation after generation has passed down their wonderful tradition of delicious food...

All I know is that I after over 2 months of having only Italian food, I was not tired of it at all!

All the vibrant color returned to my perception of everything when I picked up my daughter at the Airport in Cantania!

We rented a car and co-drove to our cute little apartment in Noto...

(co-drove because Kel held the GPS and talked me through the crazy Italian streets!)

She kept trying to sooth me by saying:  

"It's ok mom, the Italians are very good, very aware drivers,

they know exactly what they are doing...they won't hit you.."

(even though they are only inches away)... 

Noto burned down many years ago and was lovingly rebuilt by several famous artistic people (google it),

and so it is exceptionally beautiful... all awash in this captivating golden color...we saw three different brides getting their pictures done in this area...

It is the beginning of June and the weather was perfect!

John Tuturro 

This man pictured above with us was either our waiter....or the actor John Tuturro from Transformers who is in the smaller picture .  Not only do they look alike,

but talk the same too.  Maybe John is  moonlighting... ...undercover, at a restaurant in Sicily...

... doing research for his next role...

After our delicious dinner this beautiful summer evening, we strolled back towards our apartment and just happened to run into this yearly Catholic tradition of honoring Mary with a procession and music. It's called Flores de Mayo.

(Yes, I had to google it)

Ciao for now,

But I have so much more to show you in Sicily!

If you like, you can click the tab near the beginning of the post that says something about "inform me of new posts by email :)

Ciao Tutti!

If I was a light bulb on the porch... what kind of bugs would I attract?

"We attract into our lives, people who are a reflection of ourselves..."
words spoken by my Italian friend, Marco Cavallo...

I must say that beautifully kind people have come into my life
during my 3 month stay here in Italy.
So if the above quote is true in my case...
 then I am deeply honored. 

Being in a foreign country, away from everything and everyone I know...

 has made the tremendous value of friendship even more apparent to me.

I wonder...has my great need for friends while alone here in a foreign country...
caused me to uncover my little "light bulb" self...
....so that I actually, truly, pay attention to those people who come my way?

...In my home country, have I stopped looking for those 'connections'...
the kind of connections that have so richly blessed my life now?

I ask you.  I ask me.  hmmmm?

I am so grateful for the kindness of friendship that has been shown to me here that 
when I return home to America,  I want to search out foreigners and be a friend to them!

Wait.  

I live in Montana.

It may be tough to find foreigners...

...Oh!  I know!  I could try the Montana State University in my hometown Bozeman...

But...
Not only foreigners need friends...
don't we all?
In America have I been afraid of what kind of new bug might fly my way...
so I covered up my little "light bulb" self?
wait...
another question...

...has the philosophical side of me has gone completely cra-cra?
...maybe it's the "living 3 months in a foreign country disorder"...
maybe I should look for a support group.
uh oh...
sorry...I can't help it...
I'm on a roll now...
Support Group.  Shouldn't we all be a Support Group for each other?
hmmm?
....ok! ok!...I'll stop..

And so after my week in Florence taking a language course,

I was delighted that my friends at Punta Ala Cavalli  invited me to return!

And so I returned to one of my much-loved jobs
 which was helping Italian horse trainer, Marco Cavallo...

Please click on the short video below to see me doing one of the training techniques

with Penny (the horse)...

It's amazing how responsive this horse is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsuCmi0ibXs

Now that you have met the horse Penny, 

I want you to meet the trainer Marco.

Marco is a remarkable person who has learned how to help people discover more about

themselves through the honest reflection of the horse. 

The following is a video showing Marco explain his desire to help people this way...

(I like to listen to the way he phrases his english!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_j6ldjrxNg

Marco Cavallo

"Isn't a beautiful thing that our animals cannot lie to us.  
We can find truth about ourselves through our animals."

I invite you to meet this amazing man in person.  I am organizing an event in Montana
 so that my Americans friends can benefit from his insightful training and research
about horses and their people.
for more information email:  leslie.cielo@icloud.com

Penny

...In my next blog...

 I want to take you to the beautiful island of Sicily.

Like many Italians remind me:  Sicilia (Italian spelling) SeeCHEEliuh...
is closer to Africa than to most of Italy...it is a very unique place.
Much loved by every Italian I talked to!
below is picture from an outdoor market in Ortigia, Sicily, Italy...

Isn't this man just plain cute!

Ciao for now from fascinating and diverse Italy!

A dopo... until a little later...

The Silent Language of Italian Men...

When visiting Italy, it is astounding how much more depth you experience, 
even by using a few phrases in Italian.
Spring 2012, I showed my small tour group how to greet,
 thank and order food or coffee in Italian.
We were delighted to see that the Italian people were surprised and pleased! 
 Honestly, they seemed grateful :)
It was as if we went from annoying tourist to a rare delight!  :)

...This picture was taken for education purposes only...ahem...

Ok.  I just have to talk about Italian men...

Living here in Italy, working and  going to language school has added greatly to my 6 years of studying Italian at home...
But beyond that, I have learned yet another language here...

...the silent language of Italian men.

If an Italian man finds you attractive, he will give you an intense stare. 
 It's not that creepy sort of slack-jaw look some men do... No. 
 It's powerfully intense and confident.  In fact these stares are a bit disarming. 
 It does not include a smile, it not 'dreamy' or absent...
 it is searing eyes making a knowing assessment of you.

If you return the stare for several seconds, you have answered "yes" to their silent question: 
"Are you interested?" 

For confirmation, the next silent question is made by
them moving into your personal space. 
 It often starts with a touch of their hand to your arm or shoulder while they are gesturing.  
...they are always gesturing with their hands...  
If that is well received then they will stand in your personal space. 
 If you don't back up, you've got a date...if you want one.

I'm just saying...

When I first arrived in Italy, I had not yet learned this silent language...
So when an Italian friend-of-a-friend met us for lunch, he gave me 'the stare'...he was a rude, bossy man so I stared back as if to say
"You don't intimidate me..."
But In HIS language my stare meant I was interested.

His next silent question: 
There was a group of us and after lunch we all got into cars to return back to the horse farm.  I sat in the back seat and then he came and sat next to me, I didn't say anything to him or look at him, but it wasn't long before his put his arm behind me, on the seat back.  I didn't realize it at the time, but this was the second part of the question...
 by not shifting away from him, 
(in his 'language') I was saying I was interested...(in my language, once again, I was trying to communicate to him that he couldn't intimidate me by crowding me...) 

Well later, he found me alone and things got very awkward, because as far as he was concerned,
we had had a silent conversation and he believed I was saying I was interested.  Convincing him otherwise was difficult, awkward and uncomfortable for me.
 He pulled me towards him trying to kiss me, 
I pulled away saying in Italian: This isn't right! 
(he had a long-time live-in girlfriend)
His smooth, murmuring answer:
Solo una vita...(only one life)...
He finally, finally accepted my "no" and that was the end of it.   
Here I had studied the Italian language for years,
but was ignorant of this silent language of Italian men.

For me there were several confirmations that this is how it works in Italy.  Let me give you one more example...

Weeks later in Sicily, I was sitting alone at an outdoor
restaurant.  A couple came up and sat nearby. Soon, the woman left the table to go inside and the Italian man kept trying to engage me in conversation, inviting me to join his table.  I refused, not wanting to disrespect the woman.  
Well, later the woman also invited me to their table.  
I remained at my own table but after eating and on my way out I did stop to chat with them both for a few minutes. 
 Turns out she was Russian and he had found her while she was looking at a fountain outside the train station that morning. They then proceeded to spend the entire day together. Intermittently he kept asking where I was staying and for how long. 
 I feigned forgetfulness and soon felt I best leave.
The next morning I was walking the main shopping street and he suddenly appeared on his bike. He offered to be my tour guide.  Gesturing, he touched my arm and then stepped into my personal space...now that I knew "the silent language of Italian men", and that this was his way of asking if I was interested, I took a step away. 
That was it. He politely pointed out the direction of a tourist sight, and left.

I love Italy and her people and language, but I was told by many, many people here that marital status has little effect on the aforementioned behavior among Italian men.

....so ladies, Italian men are often extremely good looking, and it is natural to want to enjoy the view... I just want you to be aware of what you are 'saying' when you do.

This is the inner courtyard of the Bargello Gallery in Firenze (Florence)...

Ok... I know I've been making all this fuss about UN-famous places...

But I find myself in Florence for a week of language school and I love it!

When I was here last May, I had not yet made friends with her...

My friend Carolina says: 

"You must decide to become friends with Firenze! She is beautiful and kind, but admittedly has some guard up at first :) Che bella!"

I feel a little silly admitting this, but I actually walked around Florence saying under my breath:
Come on Firenze...let's be friends...and guess what?.. it worked!

Let's see now...did the city change?  ...Or may attitude?  ...hmmm

The Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore (English: Basilica of Saint Mary of the Flower) is the main church of Florence.  Commonly called "The Duomo"

Michelangelo's David...que bello!

A Garden in the City of Firenze near the University...

The Ponte Vecchio

By the way, can someone tell me why Americans change the name of Italian cities?

Florence is actually Firenze

Venice is actually Venezia

Rome is actually Roma...

Naples is Napoli

Naturally, the Italian version is more beautiful.

Italians don't change the names of our famous cities. New York is New York.  Miami is Miami (even though, by the way, "mi ami" in Italian means "you love me"  :)

This is taken from the Ponte Vecchio looking back towards the Uffizi Gallery.

The outside of the famous Duomo...a colorful array of marble...

Standing inside of the Duomo looking up at the Dome...

This narrow passageway actually winds up between the inside wall and the outside wall of the Dome itself...

After about a 45 minute climb, you will be rewarded with this stunning view of Florence!

By the way, If you decide to have a picture taken so that you can put it on your blog, 

maybe you should put on a little makeup...

like I didn't...

Vain, I know.  I've always been the worst...

 I put myself in a sort of "pretty prison" by caring so much...

for example,

 I used to hardly ever wear my glasses because I didn't think I looked good in them.  

But I ask you, (and I ask me...)...which is more important?

How one sees the world, or how one is seen by the world?

hmmmmm?

I am happy to say, I finally realize it's best if I simply be me... 

(...because I am after all the only person in the world who can be me...)

 So now wear my glasses a lot more, I enjoy a clear view of the world without squinting 

 and I don't attend pretty prison as much as I used to...

Another great view of lovely Firenze without me in the way...

I believe this was in the Basilica de Santa Croce...please forgive me if I'm wrong..
It's is so beautiful.  Stunning really.
It depicts the man who for told of Jesus coming to save us...
the man, John the Baptist, who said he was unfit to even tie Jesus's sandal...

Just a little secret about visiting famous places like Firenze, Roma or Venezia...

Early in the morning, the Italians and the tourists are sleeping in...

so you have the sights to yourself.

The evenings are magically lite and often have fewer tourist and more real Italians too.

As for during the day when these famous cities can be teaming with tourist...

try moving over just one street from the famous places and...

 that street may very well look like the one pictured above... 

Hello?  Where did everybody go?

oh yes... they are ALL over there by the famous thingy...

By the way, I have spent most of my time here in un-famous places and have rarely

see a tourist.  At all.  Isn't that weird?  

Suzanne and her angel, Marinella...

Ok... I started this post all rainbows and sparkles again...but in the interest of truth
I have to admit that when I first arrived in Florence, I was feeling lonely and alone...
Yes, I made friends in Pescara, but I had to leave them...

So after a night feeling lonely in Florence, I called my friend, Marinella,
 whom I had met at the beginning of my journey at Punta Ala Cavalli.
 I ask her to let me stay with her for one night..(very difficult for me to ask a huge favor like this)...
this ANGELIC woman picked me up and whisked me away to her lovely home 
up in the hills above Florence...
Maybe I should change the name of my blog to:

The Powerful Bond Created By Kindness.
or
Want to be Someone Really Important?  Be Kind to Someone!

I can't explain how much her help meant to me.  What more is she invited me to stay for 4 days!
...angels...angels...

This is a typical 'streta' that winds it's way up into the hills surrounding Florence..

Beautiful Firenze in the distance as we wind our way down the mountains from Marinella's house...

This stylish woman was in fashionable Florence...
she's so cute!
This gal didn't have the sparkly studs on her boots, but they too are very much in vogue here.
This kind of hair style is very popular here as well. 

By the way, I used to think that all Italians would be fashionable, but far from true.  There are a lot more girls casual and comfy like the one on the left,
than the one on the right. 
 I'm just saying...
:) Ciao from beautiful Florence!
Bacio Bacio!
(Kiss Kiss!)